Thank you so much for this powerful piece, Belle. Your words found me at exactly the right time.
My son has been struggling with addiction and homelessness for years. We now care for his young son, who we adopted, and for a long time it felt like I had lost him—both as a son and as a person I could reach.
About eight months ago, something shifted. He turned himself in on his outstanding warrants and has been in jail since. He’s detoxed, clear-headed, gained back weight, and—maybe the best part—we’re finally really getting to know each other again. We’re actually laughing together. He's reading Dharma Punx (so I did too), and recently asked me to teach him to meditate. I never thought I'd hear those words come out of his mouth.
He'll be getting out soon. And while I am hopeful, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared too. Not because I don’t believe in him, but because I honestly don’t know what to do beyond what I’m doing: giving him love, finding him a safe place to land, and searching for spiritually-based NA groups like he’s asked for.
Your emphasis on community, dignity, and treating the whole person—not just the addiction—really hit home. It’s what I’ve been feeling but didn’t have the words for. I even wrote about our journey recently in a post titled A Mother, A Son, and The Dharma Path to Healing.
I have a feeling I’ll learn a lot from your work, and I’m grateful to have found you.
Andrea, damn, this cracked my heart right open. Thank you for being so honest about the mess and the hope. What you’re carrying isn’t light, and you put it on the table anyway. I meant what I wrote about dignity and seeing the whole person—your son still deserves every inch of that, and so do you.I felt that part, the fear and the hope tangled up together, because that’s where real change lives. You’re doing the hardest thing: loving him without guarantees, sitting in the unknown, and still showing up with everything you’ve got. I don't know if people understand how much that matters.I think your gut is right about community and spiritual NA—sometimes, finding just a few people who “get it” beats a hundred experts. (And Dharma Punx is savage good—there’s no hiding from yourself in that book.)If you ever want to share more, or just need to unload, my inbox is always open. And I want to read your piece—drop me a link? These are the stories that actually help people.Keep going, Andrea. And tell your son I’m rooting for him too.– Belle
Belle, thank you so much for this. Through everything, I have never once faltered in my love for my son or in my knowing of who he truly is at his core. I did have to step back and set boundaries for my own sanity and for the rest of our family, but even then, I stayed in contact, saw him whenever I could, and have always—always—held on to hope.
And yes, Dharma Punx really is “savage good”. Since then I’ve been sharing other spiritually-based books with him too, because that door is open now, even if only a crack, and I’ll keep gently feeding the light through it.
Thank you so much for this powerful piece, Belle. Your words found me at exactly the right time.
My son has been struggling with addiction and homelessness for years. We now care for his young son, who we adopted, and for a long time it felt like I had lost him—both as a son and as a person I could reach.
About eight months ago, something shifted. He turned himself in on his outstanding warrants and has been in jail since. He’s detoxed, clear-headed, gained back weight, and—maybe the best part—we’re finally really getting to know each other again. We’re actually laughing together. He's reading Dharma Punx (so I did too), and recently asked me to teach him to meditate. I never thought I'd hear those words come out of his mouth.
He'll be getting out soon. And while I am hopeful, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared too. Not because I don’t believe in him, but because I honestly don’t know what to do beyond what I’m doing: giving him love, finding him a safe place to land, and searching for spiritually-based NA groups like he’s asked for.
Your emphasis on community, dignity, and treating the whole person—not just the addiction—really hit home. It’s what I’ve been feeling but didn’t have the words for. I even wrote about our journey recently in a post titled A Mother, A Son, and The Dharma Path to Healing.
I have a feeling I’ll learn a lot from your work, and I’m grateful to have found you.
Thank you for writing this—truly.
Andrea, damn, this cracked my heart right open. Thank you for being so honest about the mess and the hope. What you’re carrying isn’t light, and you put it on the table anyway. I meant what I wrote about dignity and seeing the whole person—your son still deserves every inch of that, and so do you.I felt that part, the fear and the hope tangled up together, because that’s where real change lives. You’re doing the hardest thing: loving him without guarantees, sitting in the unknown, and still showing up with everything you’ve got. I don't know if people understand how much that matters.I think your gut is right about community and spiritual NA—sometimes, finding just a few people who “get it” beats a hundred experts. (And Dharma Punx is savage good—there’s no hiding from yourself in that book.)If you ever want to share more, or just need to unload, my inbox is always open. And I want to read your piece—drop me a link? These are the stories that actually help people.Keep going, Andrea. And tell your son I’m rooting for him too.– Belle
Belle, thank you so much for this. Through everything, I have never once faltered in my love for my son or in my knowing of who he truly is at his core. I did have to step back and set boundaries for my own sanity and for the rest of our family, but even then, I stayed in contact, saw him whenever I could, and have always—always—held on to hope.
And yes, Dharma Punx really is “savage good”. Since then I’ve been sharing other spiritually-based books with him too, because that door is open now, even if only a crack, and I’ll keep gently feeding the light through it.
I also want to say how much I appreciate your invitation to connect. That means more than you know. Here’s the link to the piece I wrote, in case you’d like to read it: https://andrea8294.substack.com/p/a-mother-a-son-and-the-dharma-path?r=5hi4j1].
Thank you again—for seeing the whole person in him, and in me.