Chapter 4: Codependency at Work – Validation, Burnout, and Boundaries
If you thought codependency showed up only in family or romantic drama, think again. It follows you like a shadow—clock in, clock out, same story. For me, it showed up in every job I’ve ever had, with the same soundtrack of fear, exhaustion, and that whispery little villain I call “the ugly paper roll.”
What’s the ugly paper roll? It’s the negative tape that runs through your head when you screw up at work or forget something—“They hired a fake. They’re gonna find me out. I don’t know what I’m doing.” Playing that record at home might get a pass, but at work? It can wreck your whole day—and sometimes, your whole job.
Imposter syndrome and codependency? Best friends. I’ve had the “I don’t belong here” panic more times than I can count. That voice telling me I’m “too much” or “not enough,” all tangled up with the desperate hope that if I just do more, I’ll finally prove I’m worthy.
Those exhausting attempts to overdeliver and go above and beyond? Yeah. That’s feeding the beast. For me, especially during those dark patches in my personal life—like the abusive relationships I went through—work was my validation buffet. I fed on it hard. “Look at me, I’m doing so much!” But the burnout was real and inevitable.
