Mid-May Miracles: Breathing Again, Building Again
Outside my windows, I want to see lilac bushes that are heavy with purple blooms, their sweet, heady scent drifting through the cracked screen on the breeze. But today, as I drove the back roads, the trees are just beginning to answer spring’s call—soft buds swelling open, painting the branches in a delicate green haze that glows in the late afternoon light. So I know those flowers are not too far behind. It feels like the whole world is waking up again. And somehow, so am I.
If you’ve followed along since January, you know how dark and uncertain those early months felt. I’ve shared the fear here before—the knot in my stomach that wouldn’t loosen, the late nights wondering if I’d have to sell the house, the terrifying question of whether this business, this dream, would survive. It was raw, scary, and at times it felt impossible. But love, flexibility, and stubborn hope carried us through.
The ground beneath my feet feels steadier now. The air tastes lighter. Those question marks haven’t vanished completely, but they’re smaller, quieter, and the path ahead is opening up.
This week I signed my first official contract with a county program that will let me serve three local counties right here at home. My hands shook—not from fear this time, but from pure excitement. Substance use services are still what I live and breathe for. There’s nothing like sitting with someone in the depths of addiction and watching them begin to rewrite their story. I also love the coaching work: untangling anxiety, mending relationships, addressing sex and porn addiction, gambling, identity, and life purpose. And soon I’ll be able to offer even more.
This summer I start my clinical hours for my master’s degree, which means I’ll be able to work with dual-diagnosis clients and expand the depth of counseling I can provide. Our office space opens next month, but my sign is already on the door. I stood there the other day, sunlight warm on my shoulders, fingertips brushing the fresh lettering, breathing in the faint smell of new paint and possibility. Referrals and clients have started coming in. Collaborations with incredible peer support specialists and recovery coaches are sparking left and right. It’s an exciting time in our field.
On the personal side, I’m still the same open-hearted person who believes in sharing parts of my story when it can serve the people I work with. That transparency has always been part of who I am. At the same time, I’m holding clear, healthy boundaries between counseling and coaching. I wrote an article about exactly that distinction—if you have questions, I encourage you to read it or simply reach out to me directly and I’ll be happy to talk through it.
If you’re in your own January season right now—if the fear feels loud and the future uncertain—please hear this: I was right where you are. Knees shaking. Voice cracking. Still showing up anyway. And look at us now. Tree buds swelling into green haze. Contracts signed. Doors opening. Hope blooming right alongside the lilacs.
You don’t need all the answers. You just need to keep going, one brave step at a time. The best chapters really are unfolding.
Thank you for walking this road with me. I’m so grateful to still be here, still building, still believing.
With a full heart and the scent of spring in the air,
Belle